She's been standoffish, and it's starting to affect our team dynamic. There's an underlying tension between the two of us - we hang out off duty, drink beers at a local sports bar, whatever off duty is no problem. But two or three hours into a shift and I can tell she's frustrated with me, or with something. Benni has been having serious issues with her boyfriend, I know. I need to be understanding, but I need her present and get it together, because I can't do it all by myself.
I just can't figure out a way to tell her. I never tired just telling her that, and I wonder now if things would be different if I had.
It comes to a head one afternoon. I get frustrated with patient and it bleeds into my voice. She gives me a disgusted look and melodramatic sigh and walks off the scene. Later she refuses to help me move a stretcher. After the call, when we get back to the station, I tell her not to get out of the cab. I want to be compassionate and ask her whats wrong, but as I start to open my mouth she rolls her eyes and my temper skyrockets.
"Okay, look, I don't know what your fucking problem is, but let's get it worked out."
She immediately snarls back at me "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU TALKED TO A PATIENT LIKE THAT!"
The patient is question was a psych patient refusing to answer any of my questions. She was completely uncooperative, and finally I said "Holler!" and walked out.
"You can't be serious Benni. You've got to be fucking KIDDING ME."
We argue in the cab, yelling back and forth. I won't get into more detail then that. Our supervisor happens to walk outside and sees us yelling. I see Bennie glance out of the corner of her eye, and she stops arguing, open the door, and yells "I JUST CAN'T WORK WITH YOU ANYMORE, MARCH!" She starts crying and runs towards the back.
My supervisor walks up to me. I put in a dip and tell him "get me a fucking partner who wants to work."
I walk to the front of the station.
He rejoins me about 20 minutes later and I give him my side of the story. He suspends me a shift for the "holler" comment. I want to fight about it, but I'm too tired. I'm too fucking tired. And deep down I think he's right.
To Be Continued.